Student Work, #2: Argument with Research (Summary and Synthesis)

What Makes A “Good” Poem?

What do you think makes a good poem? I think that a good poem must have more than just rhyming and imagery. To me, a “good” poem must have multiple interpretations. In other words, there has to be more than one meaning to it. 

In recent discussions of poetry, a disagreement has been what makes a poem “good.” On one hand, in the article titled “Telling a Good Poem from a Bad One” Maddox argues that a “good” poem needs few things: it must demand exactness, underlie the thought of the poem, and it must be meaningful to another person. On the other hand, however, in the article “What Makes a Good Poem?” Pettinger argues that a “good” poem must use concise and accurate language, tells the truth, and it comes from the heart. In sum, then, what these two agree on is that poems can be meaningful or important to a person, and that it always tells the truth, but the main difference is all of the reasons why they think a poem is “good.” Though I admit that Pettinger has a point about “good poems” saying that, “poetry, good poetry comes from the heart.” I disagree with what Maddox says about words having to be in exact order. Consequently, I argue that what is essential in any poem for it to be “good” is that it must have multiple meanings. In other words, there is no right or wrong interpretation on what it is about.

 For example, “Child” by Lorna Crozier makes you feel like this is a very clumsy, crazy child, but once you really think about it, you realize that it is about a child being abused. Another example would be the poem “Shoulders” by Naomi Shihab Nye. You don’t really understand the poem until you read it again and let all of the words sink into your brain. You realize that it is talking about a man taking care of his only child. My final example is the poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost. It is talking about how something good that happens to you won’t always last. In the poem, it says “her early leaf’s a flower, but only so an hour.” In my own words, it means that good luck doesn’t last forever. As you can see, all of these poems have so many different interpretations/meanings. You may have thought of different meaning than what I have said. That is why I love the beauty of poems. And to me, that is a true, good poem. There are so many poems out in this world, and I know that they all must be very nice, but only the best ones can be “good.” I hope that you have easily understood this paper on what I think makes a “good” poem.

Student Work: #1, Argument without research/Personal Arguments

Sample #1

Argument #1

Making Choices

            Students have limited time socializing in school, so shouldn’t they be able to pick where they sit at lunch? This is one problem we have at Winston Campus because we have to sit with our homerooms at lunch instead of choosing where and who we want to sit with. The staff at Winston Campus Jr. High thinks that if we sit with our homerooms at lunch, it will limit bad behavior, result in us making new friends within our homerooms, and teach discipline. The idea of sitting with our homerooms isn’t a terrible one, but lunch is one of the only times in the school day to hang out with your friends and socialize.

            This isn’t the case everywhere else. Not every school is on the same page with students sitting in their homerooms at lunchtime. Some may argue that students shouldn’t have to sit within their homerooms. Sitting with your homerooms takes away your freedom. It also limits who you can hang out with at lunchtime; lunchtime is a great opportunity to socialize and chill out. On the other hand, sitting with your homerooms at lunch is a good idea. For example, it teaches discipline; it can also be more organized because the staff and supervisors will know where each particular student’s assigned seat is. Also, this can greatly prevent kids from getting out of their seats and being tempted to talk to other class mates. This process can result in the whole lunchroom being in a more orderly fashion.

            Even though students would be more orderly and organized sitting within their correct homerooms, I strongly disagree with it. In my opinion, I believe that the students should be able to choose where they want to sit at lunchtime. Because students are naturally going to want to sit and talk with their friends, they’re going to start rebelling and disobeying when they are forced to sit with the people that they really don’t want to sit with. For example, a student who is being forced to sit with their homeroom might want to get up and sit with their friend at a different table. And once you have a majority of students changing tables, you’ve basically lost all of the organization if kids are going to rebel and sit with whoever they want to sit with. If you let students choose where they want to sit, they’re going to be happy they’re with their friends and they’re going to want to cooperate more, which will overall be better for the students and the staff.

            I know that the staff is going to think this a bad idea and it’s never going to work. They’ll probably think that we won’t be able to control ourselves. That’s a very fair interjection. There should be a deal made that if we behave ourselves, stay at a reasonable volume, and keep the place clean, than we should continue to sit with our friends. If not, than we lose the privilege.

            Overall, I think students should be have the freedom to choose their seats at lunch, but should be mature enough to not take advantage of the school rules. They should take full responsibility for all their actions, and respect their environment. They should know that the staff and principal are in charge and respect their authority whether they like it or not.

Sample #2

Cell Phones in Schools or not?

Some may argue that we should be able to use our cell phones in school. Those who say so claim that it would give students more time to communicate, and look up things when students are researching topics without worrying that this will cause trouble. This is an understandable concern; however, others say that using phones in school can cause students to cheat on important test and homework.

On one hand, some say that students should be able to use their phones at school because they can help with research or looking up definitions. For example, sometimes teachers give out vocabulary assignments and we have to look up definition of certain words, and in this case a phone would become helpful so that you can look it up and get this assignment done quicker. For example, sometimes when I am at home, instead of using a dictionary, I would just go on my phone and look up a definition for a dictionary website. I think using a phone look up things for school work should be allowed unless the teachers say otherwise.

On the other hand, cell phones can become a great cheating tool for students when they are doing tests or homework assignments that require the student’s knowledge of the subject, not the answers that they look up on the internet. For example, I have seen students at school get caught cheating by looking up the answers online. If this is how it would be with phones in school, then it wouldn’t even be like a school because all the students would rely on their phones to do school work.

Both sides of this argument are understandable; however, if the first argument were to happen, it shouldn’t be up to the students. In my opinion I think that teachers and supervisors should allow us to use our cell phones at the time of class when we are done with everything so it would not interrupt the time of learning. For example, if we have finished a test or quiz, we should let the teacher know that we are done so they can take our test away, and then s/he would allow us to use our cell phones without consequences.

Still some may say that even though we are done with our work for that period we still shouldn’t be allowed to use our cell phone. For example, a parent might argue that they do not send their kids to school to use their phones and cheat with them but that they send their kids to school to get a good education.

In the end, I would like staff and supervisors at school to reconsider and allow the use of cell phones at school at certain times of the period.

Sample 3:

Right or Wrong

            Have you ever had to choose between the right or wrong thing?  Even when the wrong thing will get you something you need? That’s the decision I had to make when I was in R.E.C class and was told I had to write a letter to the Priest about why I chose my service hours. The problem is that I didn’t get to choose what I volunteered for, my parents made me volunteer for something, Vacation Bible School a little camp where it’s for a week in the summer and we have to guide and chaperone little kids as they eat snacks and make little crafts, that would get them all done at once. I have to tell the Priest why I chose my service hours meaning, why did I choose the ones I chose. Why did doing those specific volunteer work make me happy and want to enjoy them? What impact would it have had on me now and later after I’m confirmed? So should I lie?

            On one hand, I’ll get confirmed, meaning that I’ll be an official catholic and a member of the church. I’ll be able to do readings, volunteer to read to the little kids at Literacy to the world; other opportunities I would get if I wasn’t confirmed. On the other hand, if I lie it would make my confirmation void. Also he will ask me questions about my letter. And if my letter is good enough, I might be one of the two who get chosen to stand up and answer questions about their letter in front of the whole church. Every year the priest and the bishop choose two letters that stand out the most and at confirmation they ask question about to the two people who wrote the letters about their letter.  So I would have to memorize exactly what I wrote so that he couldn’t tell that I would be lying. And so that I wouldn’t mess up in front of everyone and look stupid.

            This is an understandable concern; however, if I don’t lie then I’ll probably not get confirmed. Which means that all those years of going to religious education class, learning about my faith, learning about how brave the saints were, and even being baptized in general would have been for nothing. So, what I think is that lying (saying that I enjoyed my service hours) is the better decision that everyone would be satisfied with. My parents would be happy I got confirmed, I would be happy that it was all over with and that I can move on, and the priest would be relived about not having to confirm me.

            Some may say that if I lie in my letter then the confirmation would have not been real since one of the reasons I got it was on a lie, and that it would be a major sin towards the church. But, in actuality my confirmation would be legitimate because when you get confirmed, the Priest sprinkles holy water on you which means that you are now blessed and cleared of any recent sins that you may have committed. Almost like being baptized again, where you are now holy and forgiven; like being born again.

            In the end, my overall decision is to say that I enjoyed my service hours even though I didn’t Lying is wrong, especially to a priest, but it is the only choice I have that would make everyone happy because if I say that I didn’t like them, then there’s a chance I may not get confirmed. I’ve never really had to make a choice like this before were in the end the right choice was wrong. But maybe what I’ve decided isn’t the worst thing in the world. All in all, it’s taught me that sometimes we have to say a little white lie to get something done. That sometimes the wrong choice is the right choice.

Sample 4

Should the beliefs of your parents affect your relationship with your dad? 

            Dads are normally strict aren’t they? Do you believe that you should let your father’s religious beliefs affect your relationship? Since about two years ago I’ve had that question in my mind. My dad teaches about God in his church, and to us his kids. We get to see him every Sunday and we spent about an hour and a half of learning about God. My dad is fun to be around when he’s not thinking about his church, he knows how to enjoy life and I do too.  I know he just wants the best for us and is trying to teach us right from wrong. I’m trying to figure out if I should let his beliefs change our relationship.

            Many would say that they would accept their father how he is, even if the relationship between them wasn’t the best they could have. Others would argue that the change which their father’s beliefs bring is too much for them. If somebody let their parents thoughts change their relationship, one might say that it’s not right because a child has to step in their parents shoes. They believe that a daughter/son should follow in the parent’s footsteps in this case, the fathers. Nonetheless, a child can’t always fulfill the expectations that their father’s would like them to do. Some kids aren’t able to follow their father’s expectations and don’t end up feeling good about themselves, they want to do other things but believe they are doing wrong by not following in their parents footsteps. Teens/children should be able to think their own thoughts, without their father overreacting and preaching them about them being wrong.

Sample 5

My Dad

            Is a job more important than your own kids? My dad didn’t get an education so he never really had a good job. About 2-3 years ago, my dad started working out and being interested in helping people be healthy. He started working out more and became a zumba instructor. A lot of people ended up showing up so he kept giving classes. He makes about 10 dollars per person and usually about 35 people a day. He makes a good amount of money from Monday to Thursday. He buys things to improve the place and usually gives me 100 every 2 weeks or whenever my mom tells him to. Should a parents’ job be more important than your own kids? This is something that most people would answer “no” to, but with my dad I’m not so sure.

When it comes to me, my dad has always said, “You’re the most important thing in my life”. That’s a saying most parents often say; but, when we’re as important as their job, you just don’t know anymore. People would argue and say that they won’t let anything replace their children, and then some do it without noticing.

On a different point of view, some parents may not want to do it, but they may be struggling with things involving money. In that case, it is understandable to want to work extra and improving their job more. They might need the extra money to make a better life for their children.

There’s is a good side to his job and a bad side. On the good side, he makes a lot of money which he can give my mom more child support with. Also, when he comes to visit me and we go to the mall, he can buy me clothes or something. Another good thing about his job is that he’s healthy and the people that go to his classes are healthy. He keeps people entertained and in shape.

            The bad side of his job is that he usually always wants to keep improving his job, even if it doesn’t need improvement. Another thing is that he works from Monday to Thursday and is starting to include Fridays too. He is starting to add another program to his class and he needs to buy the equipment for it, leaving him less money. Also, he always ends up talking about his job every time were out together. For example, I start talking about something important like planning for my party and he ends up changing the conversation to something about the classes he gives. However, we talk about everything briefly. He may be trying to make of himself something better, but he doesn’t realize he’s ignoring the people around him.

Sample 6

Me and My Grandma -

My grandma always took care of me. Since I was little . We had a good relationship … when I was littler . For example, we would always walk outside at night when it was summer , go to Dennys at mid-night just to eat a pie we saw on a commercial , and more . We would listen to the radio really loud  and wouldn’t care if our neighbors would call the police on us . That was two years ago .

 Now it’s different we wouldn’t walk outside no more . We haven’t had  Denny’s in a long time and she doesn’t want to go anywhere with me . I rememeber when she told me she was ashamed of me , that people in Palatine and she would act like she never knew me , if someone would ask she would say she is not related to me . When I heard that my heart dropped. I ran. I choked. I cried. I wish everything was the same ilke it was before , but I guess that’s life . life changed , people changed , she changed , I changed .

 The only time she really yells at me is when she is fighting with my grandpa . She put me through a lot , I wish she knew how I feel but if I tell her we’ll fight . The truth is her enemy . She puts her anger out on me. I could never forget when she told me that she didn’t need me anymore I wish I had a button that’ll erase verything but I can’t , that;s life that’s us , that’s me and my grandma .

But I wonder , if I should keep trying for my grandma , before it’s to late , and I lose her for good . Or should I just leave ?

On the one hand , she is my grandma , she did take care of me when I was born . She has been there for me . She’s life my second mom . How can I leave my second mom when she does need me, even though she tells me she doesn’t . The only reason she took care of me was my mom was only 17 when she had me ;still,  she needed help , and my dad was in jail so my grandma helped us out.

On the other hand , I would stay with her because I’m use to her, she’s like my mom I can’t leave her when she needs me the most . For example , I help her with the dogs , she takes a lot of medicine and many many more . When I help her with the dogs it helps her , it helps her more . When I give her the medicine she needs , it helps her a lot too .

However , I want want everyone to think my life isn’t easy as people say it is or “ fun “ as everyone thinks it is . It’s just sometimes frustrating too. My house is not all about fighting though . There are some days where we are all a happy loving family , I want it to be like that everyday day no fighting just love.

 Even though,  me and my grandma argue I still choose to to live with her because I been through a lot with her more than me actual mom . Either way my mom lives 5 minutes away from me , so it’s not like I’m not going to see her , I am I just choose to live with my grandma , she needs me and I need her too.

The Issue with Prompts

Fecho in Teaching for the Students writes about dialogical teaching or teaching that is inquiry based and open to interpretation, aware and embracing of diverse contexts, and inclined toward a seamlessness in teaching. He suggests that teachers consider how they create writing projects as an important step in developing a dialogic classroom.

If you rely too much on writing prompts (e.g., write an essay giving your opinion about file-sharing of music) that are unconnected to the current class dialogue, and students are given little opportunity to reflect on and revise drafts, you haven't moved toward a dialogue that will foster seamlessness. Students, either overtly or tacitly, are being taught that what we learn and o one day does not necessarily connect to what we learn and do on other days. (107)

Dialogic writing, then, should connect to the class dialogue  but it also needs to have a balance of academic and personal writing so that the writer can bring multiple voices to the work. What this means for us is that this combination of academic and personal contexts  involves thought and reflection across spaces and time and creates opportunities for meaning making.  To make writing personal, students need to be able to make choices about what to include or exclude, and they need to make choices about how best to represent the ideas on a page or screen (107).

Writing projects need many voices intersecting  so that the writing goes beyond the author alone, according to Fecho.  Students also need an opportunity to abandon a work and later return to it. For this reason, we do not take every piece of writing to publication. The first argument essay you see here went from peer or teacher conference to word-processing; there were not multiple drafts and, in fact, many papers were only written during the time in the computer lab. Some students did not or could not write during class and never wrote outside of class. And, the first argument essay was not really in conversation with other authors, so the multi-voicedness is really missing for many of them. We tried the personal argument essays without research, mostly because the computer labs and technology for research was taken up by MAP test. And, because the topics were so personal, I could not provide articles or stories for students to enrich their arguments. Nevertheless, many students found other ways to get other authorial voices into their arguments (e.g., citing the principal's reasons for assigned seats or quoting a parent or teacher).  I guess the idea here is that multiple contexts and cultures are always transacting and make it into the students' writing, but as a teacher, I can do more to help it be more seamless and even more conscious, I think.

Argument Essay #2: What is essential in a "good" poem?

Day One: 

Model: Brainstorm

" I am going to become a Sarah, the writer, when I sit down at my notebook. Okay, I am thinking about all the poetry we have read and wondering why I think some  are "good" and some fall flat. When I think of "good," I am not thinking about liking as much as I am thinking about the poem being effective or skillful or thoughtful. What makes a poem these things?

I think I will start with a look back on all the poems we've read and make a list of the ones I think are "good." Then, I want to think about what I found "good" about these.

It looks like the ones I think are "good" all have this element of discovery. The poet trusts me to make sense of things.  Yes, I think I will start with this argument for my essay: the element of "discovery." I will use these poems here for support."

Notice: What did you notice? 

brainstorming; organizing ideas; looking for ideas and support for my ideas; preparing for writing tomorrow

Guided Practice: 

Look through the poems you have found effective or good. What is similar about those? Can you identify one or a few features that you can argue make a "good" poem?

Sharing: 

"Stand across from a classmate. Have a conversation about your argument and your support. I will model this first with one of you." Here, I model having a conversation, which is really talking through the "I say" of the paper. Students will say "I argue that what makes a good poem is the quality of ..." and then talk through their support "in the poem ....the speaker expresses...about the subject of..., but how the poet does it is by ...." Here, I just want students to talk through their support and then go home and write it.

Homework: write the I say using notes from previous essay.

Day Two: 

Talk about the objective:
For this argument essay, we want to be a part of a larger conversation of others who have tried to answer this same questions. We are going to read two short essays and summarize them. How do you summarize? Well, well you have to
1. identity the author's claims or main points
2. notice the examples or support for each claim like facts, numbers, experts, research, personal stories (anything the author uses to add credibility or make it more believable -- to convince you)
3. decide on the gist, which is not necessarily in the text but is what you decide is the author's overall point
4. note the author's expertise, title of the article, where the article appeared, why it was written,when

An example of a one-paragraph summary:

In his essay “On the New Literacy,” journalist Clive Thompson , while acknowledging some academic criticism of new media, argues that these media give students opportunities to write more than in previous generations and that students have learned to adapt what they are writing in order to have some tangible effect on what people think and how they act. Arguably, reliance on blogging and posting on Twitter and Facebook can foster some bad habits in writing. However, at least one major study demonstrates that the benefits of using the new media outweigh  the disadvantages . Students write lengthy, complex piece that contribute to creating significant social networks  and collaborations. 

Model

For the first article, talk through the claims, examples, and gist, then model writing the summary. Ask students what they notice? 

• started with the title and author
• added what the article argues
• added the claims and methods for supporting the claims
• used transitions (However, thus)

Guided Practice and Writing

For the second article, students work through identifying the claims, the support, and then the gist. They can then write their summary paragraph. 

Day Three

Objective: Synthesis. What are the two articles saying about this topic of what makes a "good" poem. 

Using I Say, They Say, students need to makes sense of what these two texts are saying about the subject of good poems before stating their thesis. I don't think this lesson needs to have "Teacher as Writer" because most students' essays will not be unique here. All students are using these texts as the "they say."

Grammar Lesson: Today, you can make transitional phrases a focus -- in recent discussions; on one hand; on the other hand; in the words of; in sum

Here is a template that can help. I gave students a hard copy of this template, and they used it for a draft of the "They Say." 

In recent discussions of ____________________, a controversial issue has been whether _____________________________. On the one hand, _________ argues that _______________________________. From this perspective, what makes a poem good is________________________________. On the other hand, however, ____________ argues  that ____________________________________. In the words of ___________________________, this view about a "good" poem is the following: "____________________________." According to this view, ________________________________. In sum, then, the issue is whether ______________________________or ___________________________.

For homework, students can rewrite the summary and argument on another sheet of paper so that they can add or revise the template for what they want to say.

Templates, They Say, I Say -- I did not use nor provide this template (thought it is an option) beacuse I wanted students to see how the two parts (with and without templates) felt similar or different during the writing practice.

 My own view is that ________________________. Though I admit that ________has a point in  that ______________________________________, I still maintain that what is essential in any poem for it to be "good" is _____________________________________. What I mean by this is _________________________________________. Let's look at a few examples. First, let's look at the poem ______________________________by _______________________________. It is about _________________________________________________________. It is good because .....(and here you will make your argument for why this poem is an example of a "good" poem...and then repeat this). 

Although some might object that _____________________. I would reply that ________________________. The issue is important because __________________________________________________________________.

Day Four

Objective: peer reading and conferences about the They Say and I Say; we will not type or take this one through the entire process; in fact, we will not write the introduction, counter argument/refutation, or conclusion for this paper -- just the They Say and I Say

For homework or classs work, sudents re-write the two parts of the essay paying attention to "correct writing," topic specific words, and punctuting conjunctive adverbs, which is the latest grammar topic.

Day Five

Students read the I Say in front of the class; listening to each others arguments, claims, and supports helped students to have their own work validated, challenged with alternative arguments, or inspired for the students who did not imagine what it might sound like to listeners. I allowed students to revise their essays while they listened if they found themselves inspired by particularly strong arguments.

Teacher's Argument- Word Processing the Draft

Today we are Word-processing our argument essays. I was able to get into the computer lab today and tomorrow for students to word-process their personal argument drafts. I gave them a "rubric" of sorts with a checklist and the parameters for grading, which are not too fancy but it just reminds them that while we are going to submit these to a teen magazine, there is some sort of grade connected to their work, and I do expect them to be practicing the argument strategies and conventions we've been working on. I word-processed, the essay I wrote/modeled in the "teacher-as-writer" lessons I posted earlier. Tomorrow, I will talk to the students about the changes I made just while typing -- adding and removing phrases and sentences. I will also talk to them about how I made some discoveries as I wrote this that I wanted to include in the conclusion. I color-coded the essay to show how I see the organization of my essay. The first part is the lead that also functions as an introduction to the issue that I am exploring; then, you see the "they say," which is the larger conversation about parents that I am entering followed by the "I say." The "I say," really became quite narrative, but I think it still makes an argument for the human-ness of my father because I have these stories. I debated how much to tell, but I know from the daily lessons that the students appreciate how honest I am getting with this, and the stories are really what interests the reader. Nevertheless, I feel like the "I say," part makes a spectacle out of my dad -- yet, it really was quite the spectacle. After the "I say," there is the counter-refutation paragraph followed by my conclusion. 

I should say that it was hard for me to write this argument. There were a few times when I was near tears during class, and because we are reading poetry/songs in the reading class, the day I shared "Bridge Over Troubled Water" opened my eyes to how I wanted to approach the ending, which was quite a moment to share in front of the class. If you read Yagelski's Writing as a Way of Being, you might have some idea of how writing with  the students, with other beings was special in and of itself. 

I will post students samples next, but I can already tell that the "They say" needs work, and, overall, students need help with elaboration. I am requiring that these are two pages, double-spaced and typed, and some have just one page and "don't have anything else to say." In the conferences tomorrow, I am going to do some "over-the-shoulder" reading and ask questions or show parts where they can add a "for example" so that they can revise as they word-process. Of course, I would have liked to do this in our conferences, but I was only able to conference with a third of the class; most students did not get their draft done in time for me to conference with them before today.

 ________________________________________________________________

Sarah Donovan

Period 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9,

January 9, 2012

Argument #1

It’s Time to Break Up with… Dad

It was about four years ago. I had not heard from my dad in a while, which was not necessarily unusual, so I called him and asked him to meet me for coffee the next morning. It was just a random Tuesday in the summer, and because I am a teacher and he has been forever unemployed, it was an easy plan.  As we walked up to the counter, I anticipated  that he would slowly reach into his wallet, and that he would not have enough to treat his daughter to coffee, but he did offer his only dollar to play for his coffee, which was actually not enough. [CCSD151] I paid. A year before, we, my ten siblings and I, discovered he was in serious debt and helped him apply for bankruptcy, so by now I had come to terms with this turn in our relationship. Once he supported me, and now it was my turn to support him. [CCSD152] That said, I was not prepared for what was about to happen in our “coffee talk.”  Conversation is tough with my father; he is a thinker and slow to tell his story, but once he gets going, he can talk about himself for hours. I started simply, “How are you?”

            “Fair,” he replied.

            “Okay, so,” and here is where I should have stopped, “what would make you better than fair? Happy even?”

            He paused, and replied with a sarcastic laugh, “How much time have you got?”

            “All the time, Dad,” I really want to know what you make you happy?”

            “You know,” he said, “I’d trade any one of you to see one of my inventions driving down the street.” Now, the “invention” he was referring to is one of several vehicles he has designed and pitched to some of the most well-known carmakers, and I know that my dad did not say this to hurt me, but I also know that his words did two things: first, they cut through my heart like a knife, and second, they helped me understand that had to rethink who this man was to me.

            When it comes to parents and children, some may argue that you have to love your parents no matter what, that they love you no matter what. [CCSD153] These people would argue and truly believe that children should always respect their parents, and they probably learned it from the Commandment, “Honor thy father and mother.” I learned this rule, too, after many years of CCD or the Catholic religion classes I took every Saturday since I could walk. Of course, [CCSD154] this commandment has some value; children, as grownups, should help sick parents because the parents cleaned up our vomit and brought us to the doctor and gave us medicine and juice when we were sick. This is the child’s opportunity to reciprocate by providing financial support if necessary because many elderly have fixed incomes; we can drive our parents when their sight or driving skills diminish; and we might even invite our parents to live with us when they can no longer care for themselves (i.e., forgetting their medicine, to bathe, or to even eat). By the way, I have done all these things for my father.

            On the other hand, some may argue that parents raise their children to be independent and there may even be some who argue that not all parents are good and thus do not deserve respect from their children.  In fact, there are experts who would argue that children should actually distance themselves from an abusive parent to protect themselves.  If a parent is hurting the child emotionally, physically, or even financially, psychologist might suggest to a child to break up with that parent. When the child is young, DCFS, the Department of Children and Family Services, would remove the child, but what about an adult child? Who protects him or her? Now, I know that DCFS exists to protect children who cannot protect themselves, but the question still remains, how can an adult child protect themselves when they feel abused (emotionally, physically, or financially) by a parent?  Is it ever okay to break up with your parent, and in my case, my dad?

            Both sides of this argument are understandable; however, I don’t think it has to be all or nothing. Returning to my story, it was not long after that “coffee talk” that my father began a period of over four years where he was in and out of the hospital because of heart problems. It turns out, however, that his heart issue was very treatable. Just eight months ago, I received an emergency phone call from my father – a day after I brought him home from the hospital – and discovered a scene not unlike those hoarder reality shows; he was, in fact, living in squalor, not taking his meds, and not even eating much; I even learned that he had gone nearly a year without paying his electric bill, which I discovered because he called me to pay the bill that winter.  I called my siblings and made a plan to move him in with me until we could figure out what to do. He resisted, in complete denial that there was anything wrong with how he was living. My dad fancied himself “eccentric,” and was very proud that he was building a canoe in his living room. Every step of the way, we uncovered new, hidden debt and a life stuck in the pages of blueprints and car magazines piled floor to ceiling.  My father had lost all sense of “normalcy” so much so that I found a pile of teeth that he had pulled out himself because he had so neglected the basic day to day hygiene.

            It might seem clear to you that my father needed help, and my ten siblings agreed, but it was not clear, and still is not clear, how to help. How do you be a daughter to this father?  Instead of “honor” or “distance,” I had to choose something different. I had to see my father as a man whose dreams did not come through and who really was an “eccentric” who had no desire to be “normal.” His identity or who he think he is is all tied up in this image of the man who builds a canoe in his living room – for ten years.  The last five years, my father’s health got so bad that he could not work on this canoe, and so he was not able to live his “eccentric” life. I think I get this now. I want to help him have the life he wants, and to do that I need to help him stay healthy . Perhaps that means paying his bills from time to time, bringing him meals and checking in on his apartment – even cleaning it. I think in this way I am “honoring” the man who gave me life and who was actually a teacher like me at one point. I think I am also distancing myself from him emotionally as I no longer expect anything in return. He has never said “I love you” because he does not know or understand it, and I think I get that now, too.

            My siblings are not of this mind, this mind of accepting the man who is our father. My siblings, nine out of the ten, have actually broken up with my dad. Some have written him letters saying that they will no longer pay for his cell phone or car insurance; others have said  that they will not visit him in the hospital anymore because he is being irresponsible. Some have just said, though only to me, that they don’t want to be in his life at all as they share stories about how ungrateful he is or how he lacks compassion or how he has never even acknowledged his grandson. With a family this size, there are histories that I cannot know, and so I accept whatever reason my siblings offer for wanting to break up with my dad. I have my own history, my own memories. I remember when we would drive to the doctor’s office listening to Simon and Garfunkel. I remember our talks about books and teaching, and sometimes, yes sometimes even now, he will tell me a story about “little Sarah,” and I see a glimpse of the father he once was. Thus[CCSD155] , while I understand my siblings’ points of view and I get the arguments to “honor” or “distance” from a parent, I also see the possibilities in this larger issue of parent relationships; I see the possibility in re-imagining our relationships with our parents.

            In the end, I see my dad as a human being – yes, he is a flawed human being but a man who had dreams, nonetheless.  I argue that we can see our parents in a new way,  that perhaps we have to see them in a new way as we become adult children.  When my father told me that he would trade one of us, his children, for his invention to be realized, I began to mourn the loss of my “father” and have since accepted  the fact that I am forever connected to this man, a man whom I still call “Dad.”  The father is gone, but the man still is.

            “Hi, Dad, how are you?”

            “Fair.”

            “What will make you better than fair?”

            “How much time have you got?”

---

 [CCSD151]This is actually a complex sentence  AND a compound sentence.

 [CCSD152]Compound – notice the comma and and that connects the two sentences?

 [CCSD153]Complex – it starts with When and it connects to sentences.

 [CCSD154]Conjunctive adverb at the beginning and thas a comma after.

 [CCSD155]Conjunctive adverb at the beginning followd by a comma

Closings: Argument

Endings (http://teachers.net/lessons/posts/1122.html)

When closing any paper, writers know the closing should

• tie up loose ends
• leave the reader with something to think about
• not insult the reader by telling him or her what I just wrote
• never end with "the end"

Here are a few options for closing a paper. Some options are better than others depending on the genre, but all can work depending on your lead. For example, in the argument paper I am writing, I started with an anecdote, so I might end with an anecdote for a circular ending. Thus, even though it is an argument paper, it has a narrative feel this way, and I like that because the paper is quite personal. It really depends on the tone you, as the writer, want to take and the mood you want the reader to take up as he or she leaves your paper.

1. Question: Close with a question that that involves the reader. You can answer the question, or leave it to the reader to decide based on what you wrote. Example. It was the worst experience of his life. Andrew decided that it was the last time he would ever go on a roller coaster. Who can blame him? 
2. Strong statement:s Close with a statement that forcefully states your opinion. Example: A criminal, no matter his/her age, should be dealt with according to the crime.  The legal system is too lenient when it comes to juvenile offenders.  Laws need to be rewritten immediately so that no more hard core criminals go free just because they are juveniles. 
3. Summary without repeating: With this more traditional ending, you don't want to insult your reader. The reader is smart enough to  know what they just read if you did a good job laying it out. Thus, avoid writing "I wrote about..." -- Example. As you can see, it is not important to know everything, but it is important to find out the answer. There will not always be a teacher nearby with the answer. you have to learn how to do research, how to dig through sources to find what you need to know. 
4. Personal comment close: This is not the same as an opinion but rather a response or a personal conclusion that you reached, like a lesson you have learned because of the experience you wrote about in your paper. Example: Riding a roller coaster with someone who is a "chicken" is something I will certainly never do again. I should have listened when Sheila told me she did not want to ride it. I should have let her take the "chicken exit." Next time I will know better. 
5. Mystery close: a statement that shows some things will never be resolved. With this closing, I don't want the reader to think I forgot to end the essay. This is probably best for a narrative, but it might work in an argument. For example, "We watched Adam walk down the road until he became just a tiny speck and then disappeared altogether into the dust of the twilight.  Just as he appeared, he was gone.  That was the last time any of us ever saw him."
6. Beginning of a new story: A hint of things to come or the beginnings oa a new story -- a sequel. Example: In my argument paper about my Dad, I might end with a story that gestures at the beginning. Christmas is coming, and because I have not seen or heard from my dad, once again, I knew it was time to reach out: "Dad, how about a cup of coffee?" 
7. Well known quotation famous or not: According to Bob Dole, in order to be a citizen, all Americans must  be able to speak English. in theory, this seems like a good policy; however, what will become of the citizens who never learn to speak English? 
8. Open conclusion: an ending that lets the reader draw his own conclusions: Some statistics show that drivers under the age of 16 are more dangerous. On the other hand, some statistics show that they are no more dangerous than drivers 16-25. Therefore, whether drivers under the age of 16 are more dangerous than those over 16 is still debatable. 

Drafting: Argument

Now that we have brainstormed, planned, and have the lead, we are ready to draft. I start with a thinking about the audience and purpose -- the rhetorical triangle. On the board, I have posters with some sentence stems for the "They Say" and the "I Say" parts of the paper. I also have a sample paper on the board showing students to draft skipping lines so that we can add and revise on the page.

As I write, I am already changing my lead because I want to add some information and also cut out some beause it seems too long.  I know the they say, and the I say. I am anxious to get this paper written, and it comes easily to me. I resist the urge to use "I" or tell my own examples in the "they say," and then reveal it in the "I say" comes in. I also get more personal with the counter argument and refutation. The conclusion is easy because I know my purpose, which is to encourage my readers to think about their parents as human beings with flaws. I don't have answers; it is not about persuading people to think like me or to convince anyone like a persuasive essay is. It is just presenting an argument, working through some logic, and offering a new perspective or making my contribution to the larger conversation known.