Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Teacher's Argument- Word Processing the Draft


Today we are Word-processing our argument essays. I was able to get into the computer lab today and tomorrow for students to word-process their personal argument drafts. I gave them a "rubric" of sorts with a checklist and the parameters for grading, which are not too fancy but it just reminds them that while we are going to submit these to a teen magazine, there is some sort of grade connected to their work, and I do expect them to be practicing the argument strategies and conventions we've been working on. I word-processed, the essay I wrote/modeled in the "teacher-as-writer" lessons I posted earlier. Tomorrow, I will talk to the students about the changes I made just while typing -- adding and removing phrases and sentences. I will also talk to them about how I made some discoveries as I wrote this that I wanted to include in the conclusion. I color-coded the essay to show how I see the organization of my essay. The first part is the lead that also functions as an introduction to the issue that I am exploring; then, you see the "they say," which is the larger conversation about parents that I am entering followed by the "I say." The "I say," really became quite narrative, but I think it still makes an argument for the human-ness of my father because I have these stories. I debated how much to tell, but I know from the daily lessons that the students appreciate how honest I am getting with this, and the stories are really what interests the reader. Nevertheless, I feel like the "I say," part makes a spectacle out of my dad -- yet, it really was quite the spectacle. After the "I say," there is the counter-refutation paragraph followed by my conclusion. 

I should say that it was hard for me to write this argument. There were a few times when I was near tears during class, and because we are reading poetry/songs in the reading class, the day I shared "Bridge Over Troubled Water" opened my eyes to how I wanted to approach the ending, which was quite a moment to share in front of the class. If you read Yagelski's Writing as a Way of Being, you might have some idea of how writing with  the students, with other beings was special in and of itself. 

I will post students samples next, but I can already tell that the "They say" needs work, and, overall, students need help with elaboration. I am requiring that these are two pages, double-spaced and typed, and some have just one page and "don't have anything else to say." In the conferences tomorrow, I am going to do some "over-the-shoulder" reading and ask questions or show parts where they can add a "for example" so that they can revise as they word-process. Of course, I would have liked to do this in our conferences, but I was only able to conference with a third of the class; most students did not get their draft done in time for me to conference with them before today.
 ________________________________________________________________
Sarah Donovan
Period 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9,
January 9, 2012
Argument #1
It’s Time to Break Up with… Dad
It was about four years ago. I had not heard from my dad in a while, which was not necessarily unusual, so I called him and asked him to meet me for coffee the next morning. It was just a random Tuesday in the summer, and because I am a teacher and he has been forever unemployed, it was an easy plan.  As we walked up to the counter, I anticipated  that he would slowly reach into his wallet, and that he would not have enough to treat his daughter to coffee, but he did offer his only dollar to play for his coffee, which was actually not enough. [CCSD151] I paid. A year before, we, my ten siblings and I, discovered he was in serious debt and helped him apply for bankruptcy, so by now I had come to terms with this turn in our relationship. Once he supported me, and now it was my turn to support him. [CCSD152] That said, I was not prepared for what was about to happen in our “coffee talk.”  Conversation is tough with my father; he is a thinker and slow to tell his story, but once he gets going, he can talk about himself for hours. I started simply, “How are you?”
            “Fair,” he replied.
            “Okay, so,” and here is where I should have stopped, “what would make you better than fair? Happy even?”
            He paused, and replied with a sarcastic laugh, “How much time have you got?”
            “All the time, Dad,” I really want to know what you make you happy?”
            “You know,” he said, “I’d trade any one of you to see one of my inventions driving down the street.” Now, the “invention” he was referring to is one of several vehicles he has designed and pitched to some of the most well-known carmakers, and I know that my dad did not say this to hurt me, but I also know that his words did two things: first, they cut through my heart like a knife, and second, they helped me understand that had to rethink who this man was to me.
            When it comes to parents and children, some may argue that you have to love your parents no matter what, that they love you no matter what. [CCSD153] These people would argue and truly believe that children should always respect their parents, and they probably learned it from the Commandment, “Honor thy father and mother.” I learned this rule, too, after many years of CCD or the Catholic religion classes I took every Saturday since I could walk. Of course, [CCSD154] this commandment has some value; children, as grownups, should help sick parents because the parents cleaned up our vomit and brought us to the doctor and gave us medicine and juice when we were sick. This is the child’s opportunity to reciprocate by providing financial support if necessary because many elderly have fixed incomes; we can drive our parents when their sight or driving skills diminish; and we might even invite our parents to live with us when they can no longer care for themselves (i.e., forgetting their medicine, to bathe, or to even eat). By the way, I have done all these things for my father.
            On the other hand, some may argue that parents raise their children to be independent and there may even be some who argue that not all parents are good and thus do not deserve respect from their children.  In fact, there are experts who would argue that children should actually distance themselves from an abusive parent to protect themselves.  If a parent is hurting the child emotionally, physically, or even financially, psychologist might suggest to a child to break up with that parent. When the child is young, DCFS, the Department of Children and Family Services, would remove the child, but what about an adult child? Who protects him or her? Now, I know that DCFS exists to protect children who cannot protect themselves, but the question still remains, how can an adult child protect themselves when they feel abused (emotionally, physically, or financially) by a parent?  Is it ever okay to break up with your parent, and in my case, my dad?
            Both sides of this argument are understandable; however, I don’t think it has to be all or nothing. Returning to my story, it was not long after that “coffee talk” that my father began a period of over four years where he was in and out of the hospital because of heart problems. It turns out, however, that his heart issue was very treatable. Just eight months ago, I received an emergency phone call from my father – a day after I brought him home from the hospital – and discovered a scene not unlike those hoarder reality shows; he was, in fact, living in squalor, not taking his meds, and not even eating much; I even learned that he had gone nearly a year without paying his electric bill, which I discovered because he called me to pay the bill that winter.  I called my siblings and made a plan to move him in with me until we could figure out what to do. He resisted, in complete denial that there was anything wrong with how he was living. My dad fancied himself “eccentric,” and was very proud that he was building a canoe in his living room. Every step of the way, we uncovered new, hidden debt and a life stuck in the pages of blueprints and car magazines piled floor to ceiling.  My father had lost all sense of “normalcy” so much so that I found a pile of teeth that he had pulled out himself because he had so neglected the basic day to day hygiene.
            It might seem clear to you that my father needed help, and my ten siblings agreed, but it was not clear, and still is not clear, how to help. How do you be a daughter to this father?  Instead of “honor” or “distance,” I had to choose something different. I had to see my father as a man whose dreams did not come through and who really was an “eccentric” who had no desire to be “normal.” His identity or who he think he is is all tied up in this image of the man who builds a canoe in his living room – for ten years.  The last five years, my father’s health got so bad that he could not work on this canoe, and so he was not able to live his “eccentric” life. I think I get this now. I want to help him have the life he wants, and to do that I need to help him stay healthy . Perhaps that means paying his bills from time to time, bringing him meals and checking in on his apartment – even cleaning it. I think in this way I am “honoring” the man who gave me life and who was actually a teacher like me at one point. I think I am also distancing myself from him emotionally as I no longer expect anything in return. He has never said “I love you” because he does not know or understand it, and I think I get that now, too.
            My siblings are not of this mind, this mind of accepting the man who is our father. My siblings, nine out of the ten, have actually broken up with my dad. Some have written him letters saying that they will no longer pay for his cell phone or car insurance; others have said  that they will not visit him in the hospital anymore because he is being irresponsible. Some have just said, though only to me, that they don’t want to be in his life at all as they share stories about how ungrateful he is or how he lacks compassion or how he has never even acknowledged his grandson. With a family this size, there are histories that I cannot know, and so I accept whatever reason my siblings offer for wanting to break up with my dad. I have my own history, my own memories. I remember when we would drive to the doctor’s office listening to Simon and Garfunkel. I remember our talks about books and teaching, and sometimes, yes sometimes even now, he will tell me a story about “little Sarah,” and I see a glimpse of the father he once was. Thus[CCSD155] , while I understand my siblings’ points of view and I get the arguments to “honor” or “distance” from a parent, I also see the possibilities in this larger issue of parent relationships; I see the possibility in re-imagining our relationships with our parents.
            In the end, I see my dad as a human being – yes, he is a flawed human being but a man who had dreams, nonetheless.  I argue that we can see our parents in a new way,  that perhaps we have to see them in a new way as we become adult children.  When my father told me that he would trade one of us, his children, for his invention to be realized, I began to mourn the loss of my “father” and have since accepted  the fact that I am forever connected to this man, a man whom I still call “Dad.”  The father is gone, but the man still is.
            “Hi, Dad, how are you?”
            “Fair.”
            “What will make you better than fair?”
            “How much time have you got?”



 [CCSD151]This is actually a complex sentence  AND a compound sentence.
 [CCSD152]Compound – notice the comma and and that connects the two sentences?
 [CCSD153]Complex – it starts with When and it connects to sentences.
 [CCSD154]Conjunctive adverb at the beginning and thas a comma after.
 [CCSD155]Conjunctive adverb at the beginning followd by a comma


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